goodbye, Disneyland

TJ and I said goodbye to Disneyland this weekend. Some good friends from high school were meeting there to catch up, so we decided to make a day of it since our passes are about to expire. On the drive up we were thinking about all of the rides we needed to go on one last time: Space Mountain, California Screamin, Tower of Terror, and so on. When we arrived, the thought of spending our last day at Disneyland standing in line to wait to go on rides we've been on a hundred times sounded tedious and stressful. So we didn't. On our last day at Disneyland, we decided to make it a day of firsts. Here's what we did:

1. Pirate Steamboat. We rode the pirate boat around Tom Sawyers' Island (which I think they renamed to the Pirate's Lair? Really?)

2. Canoes. We decided we wanted to put a little effort into our ride around the island by riding the canoes that you have to paddle yourself. Our guide was genuinely hilarious. One of the highlights of the day.

3. Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln. This has been a running joke between TJ and I since our first Disneyland trip. He loves it, but I'm like, who wants a history lesson at Disneyland? To be honest, by the end when the "America: Keep on Dreaming" eagle flew across the screen I was over it. And I may have been a little startled when the too-lifelike-for-comfort animatronic Abe Lincoln got up out of his chair to give a speech. But for the most part, it was actually pretty interesting.

4. The Mexican restaurant in Disneyland across from the pirate boat. TJ had never been here, and we bot got really confused by the fact that you can only order certain food from different lines inside, so I ended up with cheese enchiladas that I didn't really want. I give it a "meh."

5. Starbucks on Main Street. This is brand new, and we had never been to Starbucks in Disneyland, so hey! first for both of us.

6. It's tough to be a bug. This is the 3D bug's life show in CA Adventure. I don't know what I was expecting, but this is terrifying. I hate bugs, you guys. Even cartoon and animatronic ones.

7. Train ride around Disneyland. This is mostly like riding the monorail with more stops, but there was a fun diorama with dinosaurs and the Grand Canyon to look at!

8. The Wilderness Challenge Course. I don't actually even know if that's the right name for it. We ran across rope bridges in the sky and crawled through tunnels and identified fake animal tracks.

9. The petting zoo... sort of. We tried to go see some animals, but they were gone for the night, so we took a picture with Woody instead who was just sort of standing there waiting for kids to realize he was there. There wasn't a line so he took my hand and danced with me for a minute. He even spun me around and hugged me like 3 times. What a nice plastic cowboy.

10. Going left on Space Mountain. We did go on two old favorites: California Screaming and Space Mountain. Screaming hardly had any line, and we had fast passes for Space. However, when we went on Space Mountain, instead of going right around the corner and into the abyss, we turned left and had to evacuate because our lap bars weren't registering in their system. I got REALLY (read: too) excited about this and asked the lady if this meant I got to see Space Mountain with the lights on. She said "not yet" but I think she just didn't hear what I said because all we ended up doing was walking through a short hallway labeled "cast members only" and back onto the ride.

11. We met up with friends from out of town in downtown Disney. This doesn't really have anything to do with saying goodbye to Disneyland, but it's still a first.

12. We ate dinner at the winery in CA Adventure. As TJ so eloquently put it, "Disneyland is just a little more magical after a glass of wine."

All in all, it was a great day. As is tradition, we ended the night at the Jolly Holiday Bakery with a cinnamon roll that I ate by myself because TJ isn't eating gluten or dairy right now. We left during the fireworks show to avoid the post-fireworks traffic, but as we were walking away with the music and explosions in the background, I couldn't help but feel a little sad that we were closing that chapter of our lives. TJ and I spent much of our dating life at Disneyland. It's where we had our first double date, where he first held my hand, and where he first met my brother. There has been so much change in the last few months with jobs, moving, and getting married that a part of me has been holding onto that as a small security.

So, goodbye Disneyland. You've been a good friend these last several years. Hopefully we can catch up again soon.

on the need to travel

The need to travel is a mysterious force. A desire to go runs through me equally with an intense desire to stay at home. An equal and opposite thermodynamic principle. When I travel, I think of home and what it means. At home I’m dreaming of catching trains at night in the gray light of Old Europe, or pushing open shutters to see Florence awaken. The balance just slightly tips in the direction of the airport.

Frances Mayes
A Year in the World: Journeys of a Passionate Traveller

on inspiration

When you are working full time, you think that if you were unemployed you would finally have time to do everything you've never had time to do as an employed person. You'd try all of those crafts you pinned on Pinterest, you'd repaint and redecorate your house like a rockstar, you'd read all of the books ever written, and you'd get into great shape by exercising every day.

When you do stop working, you soak it up. You sleep in. You start that Netflix show you never were able to finish when it originally aired. You browse Pinterest for inspiration.

Then one day you wake up (at 11am) and realize your day is half gone already, and the remainder will quickly disappear with the rest of the Ugly Betty marathon that is bound to take place. You settle in with your cheesecake that you have eaten almost entirely alone because everyone else is at work and you can't bring yourself to go to the store to find real food. You think about going for a run, but there's so much time today that you can definitely do that later.

You decide to look at Pinterest for inspiration, and someone has posted a picture in beautiful typeface that reads:

I still find each day too short for all of the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.

You re-read it a few times and then you shake your head. On the contrary, lately your days are much too long because you've only had one thought: being unemployed with no structure is very uninspiring.

--

Being married to a man who makes music for a living has taught me a lot about inspiration over the years. Very few times has he started a project feeling inspired. There's usually a looming deadline that forces him to show up, and only after he's been working on it for awhile does inspiration start to hit.

I don't have deadlines. However, I can wake up in the morning and ask myself what I want to accomplish today. I can look at this expiring laundry list of things I said I would do and actually do them. Taking the wise words of someone who has dealt with this long before me: eighty percent of success is just showing up.

summertime

Summertime in the city with some of my bests.

"craigslist" or "the time i didn't help a pregnant lady unload her car."

TJ and I were going to pick up this great table and chairs set off of Craigslist yesterday. It was a steal really; a wealthy family's moving sale. We got there and it was this cute, young, pregnant-and-already-had-2-kids mom that answered the door. She said hi, asked us to take off our shoes, and directed us to the table and chairs. It was a little awkward, as most Craigslist experiences are, so to try to appease the awkward moment TJ introduced us. The lady did not introduce herself back. [I think the hitch-hiking rule applies here. Take the lead of the person picking you up, or in this case, the seller. If they don't care who you are, do not tell them. But I digress.] Other than asking if we had kids and trying to sell us a train table for babies, she didn't say much. We loaded up the table and were on our merry way.

So this morning TJ and I realize that we left the leaf to the table on the woman's front porch. Debating if it was worth going back for, I eventually emailed her to see if she hadn't thrown it out yet. She said she had just noticed it and to stop by any time to grab it-- she left it outside for me.

I pulled up to her house thinking I am going to run up on her porch, grab it, and take off before anyone knows I'm there. Not the case. As I park, her garage door starts opening. She had been out running errands and pulled up the exact same time as me. I awkwardly get out of my car and say hello, grab the leaf as she says, "Sucks you had to come all the way back down here for this" and I'm like "yeah, it's okay. It happens," and yell bye to her. I close my door and turn on my car and realize that she (pregnant, mind you) is starting to unload a bunch of giant, awkwardly shaped boxes out of the back of her car. I am now faced with a dilemma. Do I offer to help this Craigslist lady that didn't introduce herself and wanted to make this a quick transaction? Or do I just drive away to get back to work?

I started to drive away and then briefly considered rolling down my window to ask if she needed help, but then I just kept driving. Until next time, awkward Craigslist lady.

"milk + honey" or "i'm so hip i order straight espresso and think a typewriter is portable"

TJ and I were at the great little cafe last night called Milk + Honey. It's a pretty hip place where you can get aloe in everything and a lavender latte (my favorite thing ever, currently). The music playing is usually something you've never heard of... or Bon Iver, which is something you'd never heard of until recently. It typically draws an interesting crowd, and last night was no exception.

1) We walked in and there was a couple in the corner. At first I thought they were just girlfriends hanging out on a Friday night. Then I realized one was a male with a super long french braid as he leaned over his laptop to give his mate a kiss. Which brings me to my next point. He was on a laptop...she was on a TYPEWRITER. She was lugging her typewriter to the coffee shop. Come on.

2) There was a girl getting trained that night. Super sweet, delicate flower is the only image I get in my mind when I think of how to describe this girl. And the girl training her was more like...hipster bullies gang leader. Then there was the guy just trying to navigate the passive-agressive girl fight. Tension was thick and it was painful to watch.

3) TJ looked at the menu and said, "What do you think an espresso con panna is?" Me: "I dunno." TJ: (googles it) "Shot of espresso with cream. Maybe I'll get that."

He orders this item, too proud to ask what an item was on a coffee shop menu, and we sit and wait for our drinks. Several minutes later, long after I had received my lavender latte, we heard "espresso con panna" called. A cup approximately the size of a shot glass, filled about 1/3 of the way full with a dollop of whipped cream on top, is placed on the counter. I don't know if it was the ridiculousness of the whole scene mashed together or what, but TJ and I about lost it at this point. Of course at a hipster cafe where there is a girl practicing her stenography to our right would you pay $2.50 for a half shot of espresso with whipped cream on top of it.

We held it together long enough for TJ to swallow the espresso (and his pride), order a real cup of coffee "you know, for the road. but it was so delicious, thanks" and nearly keel over from laughter once we reached the parking lot.

"constant reminders" or "an analogy that came to me while i was eating stir fry"

i had a 3 hour class this morning, and i didn't bring a morning snack. this is a problem because i am like clockwork when it comes to food. if i don't eat every 2 hours, i get upset and cranky and no one wants to talk to me (first world problems, i know). so the last hour of class, i am trying to hold it together like nobody's business. after class, my group for a project had a question of the professor. we approach him right as "that girl" (everyone has this person in their class) swoops in and starts going off on tangents and asking questions and dragging out everything she has to say. (there is no one left in the classroom at this point, except the professor, this girl, and my entire group. i am glaring at the girl. she does not budge. she continues on, as if we are standing around solely because we are totally interested in what she has to say. but i digress.) finally, we ask our question, discuss our project some more, and i hit the road to get to work. it has been 4 hours since my last meal at this point.

the moment i step into the office i run to the kitchen to fix my lunch. i count the seconds down as it heats up in the microwave. i take it back to my desk and start shoveling. but here's the problem: i was so hungry that i got these huge spoonfuls that wouldn't even fit in my mouth, and as a result everything fell off the spoon and none went into my belly. i kept trying to frantically shovel more and more food into my stomach, until finally i had to stop, take a step back, and take it piece by piece. take it in manageable steps, and my hunger would be satisfied. try to do it all at once and nothing got accomplished, and i was still irritable and frustrated.

so......big finish:

don't we do this with so many things in life? (okay i made that intentionally cheesy because it's kind of ridiculous). but seriously, so often in my life i suddenly realize all these needs i have at one time and i want to do everything at once, all right now, all before tomorrow. i don't pray enough, i don't exercise enough, i have 2 huge projects due in the next 2 weeks, and i'm STARVING. so i eat my meal while i'm running down the street holding a laptop trying to focus on two totally different topics, and asking God for help through it all. but nothing gets accomplished and i'm just tired at the end of the day.

this is more just a reminder for myself that i need to take things step by step, piece by piece, day by day. this is a marathon, not a sprint. i need to set manageable goals, and focus my time and energy so i have time for the things in life that really matter. i constantly need this reminder.