break my heart for what breaks Yours

i haven't asked for this in a long time. there was a point in my life when i sat and i cried with immigrants. when asked to watch a movie about poor minorities living in vile housing conditions and i would have been glued to the screen. when a woman talked about the community organizing going on in a poor orange county city i would have become indignant at the city council that didn't side with them. when watching a documentary about exploited factory workers in my backyard, i would have boycotted the stores at fault.

but i don't really do that anymore.

i'm tired alot these days. i go to my job and i go to class and i look for ways to shake the monotony of the every day routine. everything just seems like too much. i get wrapped up in the drama of relationships and the fact that i'm unhappy here and in the process i lose something. i lose the hope that things can change. i justify my actions and my indifference. i resign myself to mediocrity, thinking this is just the 'in between' phase of my life and once i leave grad school and southern california, the real fun will start and i will care about things again.

i want my heart to break right now. i want to feel that bright eyed optimism i felt in and fresh out of college. i want to love those around me and recognize that is what life is made of and not some temporary rush i get from a mostly meaningless every day activity.

so, please, break my heart for what breaks Yours.