On February 10, 2015, I turned 30. I have been anticipating this for quite some time, but I don't think you can fully prepare for what it does to you mentally. For weeks leading up to my birthday this year everyone asked me, "How are you feeling about turning 30?" and, "Are you ready to be in your 30s?" I would usually answer "nothing" or "I haven't really had much time to think about it." Then suddenly it's here and there's something that feels incredibly big about it.
Your 20-something friends tell you it's not that big of a deal and nothing has changed. Your 30-something friends welcome you to the club. And then you get inexplicably emotional over watching a clip from a Disney movie from your childhood. Not even a sad clip!
I did a good job with my 20's. I had dreams and made plans to fulfill those dreams. I moved across the country and across the world and back. I got a few jobs, and I got laid off from one of those jobs, but I figured it out. I got a bachelor's degree and a masters degree, I got married, and I adopted 2 cats. I saw more of the world in a year than most people see in their lifetimes. I took some risks and not all of them worked out, but some of them did.
My 30-something friends have told me that for the first time in their lives they feel like they're secure. They've got savings and steady jobs and marriage and kids. No more tumultuous breakups and living paycheck to paycheck. I am excited about this prospect, because I like stability. But I also feel the pressure to keep up the paths that most 30-somethings follow: buy a house in a quiet neighborhood, have kids, and find my career. It's not that I don't want these things, it's just that I feel like I have to get some stuff out of my system first.
When I moved to Amsterdam in 2009, I quit my job but still had a year before starting grad school. I took that year off to live abroad and travel. In my mind I would move back in a year, get my master's degree, and settle into my career. I had a year to have my last hurrah, then I'd get serious about my "responsible" life path. But that's not really how my life has worked. Most of the time my adventures have just fueled my desire to do and see even more.
Past experience has shown that if I "wait to get it out of my system" then I will never do it. Maybe instead of putting to rest the old and begrudgingly accepting the new, I can live a life where stability and adventure are not mutually exclusive. A life filled with new experiences doesn't have to end because I find a job I like or because I pass a milestone age.
So, here we go, 30's! Let's make it great, and could you turn that music down a little? Because I'm trying to have a nice quiet evening at home.
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