"milk + honey" or "i'm so hip i order straight espresso and think a typewriter is portable"

TJ and I were at the great little cafe last night called Milk + Honey. It's a pretty hip place where you can get aloe in everything and a lavender latte (my favorite thing ever, currently). The music playing is usually something you've never heard of... or Bon Iver, which is something you'd never heard of until recently. It typically draws an interesting crowd, and last night was no exception.

1) We walked in and there was a couple in the corner. At first I thought they were just girlfriends hanging out on a Friday night. Then I realized one was a male with a super long french braid as he leaned over his laptop to give his mate a kiss. Which brings me to my next point. He was on a laptop...she was on a TYPEWRITER. She was lugging her typewriter to the coffee shop. Come on.

2) There was a girl getting trained that night. Super sweet, delicate flower is the only image I get in my mind when I think of how to describe this girl. And the girl training her was more like...hipster bullies gang leader. Then there was the guy just trying to navigate the passive-agressive girl fight. Tension was thick and it was painful to watch.

3) TJ looked at the menu and said, "What do you think an espresso con panna is?" Me: "I dunno." TJ: (googles it) "Shot of espresso with cream. Maybe I'll get that."

He orders this item, too proud to ask what an item was on a coffee shop menu, and we sit and wait for our drinks. Several minutes later, long after I had received my lavender latte, we heard "espresso con panna" called. A cup approximately the size of a shot glass, filled about 1/3 of the way full with a dollop of whipped cream on top, is placed on the counter. I don't know if it was the ridiculousness of the whole scene mashed together or what, but TJ and I about lost it at this point. Of course at a hipster cafe where there is a girl practicing her stenography to our right would you pay $2.50 for a half shot of espresso with whipped cream on top of it.

We held it together long enough for TJ to swallow the espresso (and his pride), order a real cup of coffee "you know, for the road. but it was so delicious, thanks" and nearly keel over from laughter once we reached the parking lot.

"constant reminders" or "an analogy that came to me while i was eating stir fry"

i had a 3 hour class this morning, and i didn't bring a morning snack. this is a problem because i am like clockwork when it comes to food. if i don't eat every 2 hours, i get upset and cranky and no one wants to talk to me (first world problems, i know). so the last hour of class, i am trying to hold it together like nobody's business. after class, my group for a project had a question of the professor. we approach him right as "that girl" (everyone has this person in their class) swoops in and starts going off on tangents and asking questions and dragging out everything she has to say. (there is no one left in the classroom at this point, except the professor, this girl, and my entire group. i am glaring at the girl. she does not budge. she continues on, as if we are standing around solely because we are totally interested in what she has to say. but i digress.) finally, we ask our question, discuss our project some more, and i hit the road to get to work. it has been 4 hours since my last meal at this point.

the moment i step into the office i run to the kitchen to fix my lunch. i count the seconds down as it heats up in the microwave. i take it back to my desk and start shoveling. but here's the problem: i was so hungry that i got these huge spoonfuls that wouldn't even fit in my mouth, and as a result everything fell off the spoon and none went into my belly. i kept trying to frantically shovel more and more food into my stomach, until finally i had to stop, take a step back, and take it piece by piece. take it in manageable steps, and my hunger would be satisfied. try to do it all at once and nothing got accomplished, and i was still irritable and frustrated.

so......big finish:

don't we do this with so many things in life? (okay i made that intentionally cheesy because it's kind of ridiculous). but seriously, so often in my life i suddenly realize all these needs i have at one time and i want to do everything at once, all right now, all before tomorrow. i don't pray enough, i don't exercise enough, i have 2 huge projects due in the next 2 weeks, and i'm STARVING. so i eat my meal while i'm running down the street holding a laptop trying to focus on two totally different topics, and asking God for help through it all. but nothing gets accomplished and i'm just tired at the end of the day.

this is more just a reminder for myself that i need to take things step by step, piece by piece, day by day. this is a marathon, not a sprint. i need to set manageable goals, and focus my time and energy so i have time for the things in life that really matter. i constantly need this reminder.

anyone? really? i'm the only one?

you know those captcha things that are supposed to take human effort and turn it into digitizing books? it makes me scared when i type in something like "orghskan bumjahgf" and it accepts it as right, which totally just happened. like, there's no way that's a word i've never heard of, but that's definitely what the font looks like to me, and somewhere that is getting digitized for the rest of humanity to read for all eternity.

first family trip to europe

i read this essay on a woman's first family trip to europe with her 3 year old son and i really enjoyed it. yeah yeah...probably because it's about amsterdam. but it was still a sweet read.

Hanging out our hotel window on a warm night in Amsterdam eight years later, I looked down drop-jawed as young dudes swarmed out bars, stripped off their pants, and stumbled into the fountain below to thrash and bellow wearing just their teeny totally un-American bikini underpants. Holland had just lost the World Cup to Argentina. These guys were in pain, apparently. But, man, I thought, Is Europe great or what?

Louisa Kamps, First Family Trip to Europe 

iPoem by TJ Hill

you are my Magic Hour when I'm feeling Ansel
you Brighten me up when I'm ready to hit cancel.
you are my Amaro when I'm desaturated as Inkwell
you help me fix my eyes on heaven when I'm going through hell.
you're as fearless as Kelvin, hip like Nashville
a warm filter in a world that's way too chilled.
you're a gold coin in Hanging, my inspiration in Scramble
you occupy my mind while those stupid app advertisements ramble.
your voice is more soothing than a Sleep Cycle wakeup
you're prettier than a photo after a ShakeItPhoto shakeup.
I'll be your applecare if your screen ever shatters
nothing is too big for us to face cause we have what matters:

iPhones! ...uhh....I mean... LOVE!

used office furniture

At work we buy some of our furniture from used office furniture warehouses. You know, whiteboards, room dividers... nothing you really have to sit on. The first time I went to the warehouse a few months ago, I was checking out some whiteboards and a filing cabinet. I read on the website that they opened at 8, so about 8:15 I pulled up to the abandoned lot surrounded by a chain link fence in the middle of nowhere. I wandered for a minute, not finding any open doors. I called the number on their website, only to be greeted by a customer service rep in Phoenix. I explained my situation to him, he called Rick (the guy who runs the warehouse in Orange County) and Rick runs out of the warehouse apologizing that he forgot to unlock the doors.

Rick is a middle aged man, wearing a Hawaiian shirt halfway unbuttoned and a gold chain. He proceeds to take me around the enormous warehouse trying to sell me conference tables and office chairs. There is a stray dog wandering the premises, which is the only other sign of life.

A few days ago I had to go to the warehouse for the second time. I knew what to expect, so I called ahead and made sure Rick was there and ready for visitors. When I arrived, the same stray dog saw me pull up and decided to run at me full speed. I screamed and a guy unloading a truck in the distance laughed and continued about his business. I walked into the warehouse where there was a lady cleaning conference tables, but no sign of Rick. I asked the guy unloading the truck if he knew where Rick was. "Come, come, I show you," he told me, and we walked back inside to find a still empty office. He yelled for Rick, and a voice came out of the men's restroom, where the door was open, revealing 3 stalls inside. "Be right there!" Rick responded. I sat awkwardly on a nearby couch which faced the door Rick was about to emerge from. Toilet flush...wait...wait...no more sound. No running water. Rick walks out, takes the check I had come to drop off and sticks out his hand. What was I to do? I cringed slightly, shook his unwashed hand, and ran out to my car laughing to myself and avoiding the dog. I reminded myself that in India, I touched a lot of left hands.

"one of these things is not like the other" or "me and the jewish deli"

The owner of the company I work for flew in from Panama yesterday to meet everybody and see the office. I was in charge of the catered lunch, which was ordered specially from Kosher Bite Deli in Laguna Hills. (Because the boss is Jewish and keeps kosher. When the guy who is paying your salary asks for no cheese, you do not get cheese, everyone!)

So I walk into the deli that I called a few days beforehand (the woman on the phone kept calling me baby and honey), and no one is behind the counter. I take a quick glance at the room and I am met with 10-15 pairs of staring eyes. Everyone is sitting at a table as if they know exactly what is going on, and I have disrupted the feng shui (or whatever the Jewish equivalent is). I am the youngest person in the room by a solid 45 years, and absolutely everyone is Jewish.

I see an "order here" sign so I go and stand at the abandoned counter waiting for someone to come out. I wait for a minute or two, when this woman walks up and wedges herself between me and the counter, literally an inch in front of me, also waiting for someone to take her order. A group of 5 women walk in immediately after this happens, and all join the woman who has just usurped my first place in line. Then two more people who were sitting in chairs get in line behind them. This whole scene happened across a 60 second time span, and I am standing completely blocked out by 9 Jewish senior citizens.

I'm standing there debating if I should say something, or wondering if maybe there was an unspoken rule that since the woman had been sitting inside the deli longer than me, she got first dibs on placing her order. I made it very clear through staring her down that I had every intention of going next and not letting her cohort all go in front of me. After she ordered, the next woman started to open her mouth, but I interject. "Oh, I'm sorry, were you waiting to order? I didn't even see you there!" (not possible. she nearly stepped on me.)

I unintentionally took my revenge by reclaiming my place in line and picking up my order for 16 people while the army of seniors all had to wait to order their matzo ball soup.